The Joy of Getting Lost in a Cave

Apr 2, 2022 Play
The Joy of Getting Lost in a Cave

Is a cave artwork?

The answer is yes and its nature’s artwork. My whole life, I have never stepped into a cave – a live cave – that continues to grow its formations. Recently, I fed that curiosity and for the first time in my life I wandered and got lost in a cave in Missouri.

Location


Missouri is known for its caves. This particular cave is located down in the Ozarks, which is about a three hours drive from St.Louis. The Ozarks by itself has a lot to see including caves. The Bridal Caves, my first ever cave, didn’t disappoint.

History


The Bridal Caves, first protected in 1948, are named after a long history of “hosting” nuptuals for ancient people. The caves are located under Thunder Mountain and are located in the heart of the Ozarks in the Thunder Mountain State Park. There is a well told story where ancient local people – the Osage Native Americans – would crawl through this long and claustrophobic tunnel only to exchange vows inside these grand caves. That, is commitment.

Tours


On a hot and muggy Missouri day, you get a nice reprieve and enter a cool 60F environment, 30 feet below the surface. The cave comes alive and wows you from the minute you enter its chambers. Tall structures wrap around you as you meander through the many tunnels and entries. Colours or orange, gold, brown, white and red are all over. Wow.

You will learn about the many rock sculptures, how this cave is continuing to grow and see a wide array of formations ranging from “soda straw” looking structures to impressive rockscapes. Stalagmites, stalactite, and flowstones all over. You see formations that grow slowly from the ceiling and come down, and in another chamber you see ones growing from the ground up.

When you get to the end of the cave, you are surprised by a “Mystery Lake” that showcases true azure blue and teal colours. All this beauty deep in the heart of the cave structure.

One note – I had maybe not gone into caves because I thought I would be claustrophobic. I am pleased to say – I did well. Sure there were points where the walls were a little close, but I just kept focussed on the beauty and knowing the oxygen was flowing around me everywhere. And I am now raring to go to my next cave!

Bliss Reflection

Trying something new will always give you joy. But marvelling at how nature knows how to do”this”is what really gives me joy. I can learn for hours and still ask questions.

Caves continue to grow. Their formations are alive and as the years go by, they continue to create new sculptures. The colours or the rock change as the minerals, air and water interacts and you are suddenly under a 30 ft high ceiling, with smooth rock cascading down to your feet.

Caves are an unique form of art. They are impressive and grand. And what is most impressive, is the human hand has nothing to do with it. This is all nature.

Bliss Finds and Facts

Joy and Workaholism: 5 Things to Do to Rebalance

Mar 30, 2022 Work
Joy and Workaholism: 5 Things to Do to Rebalance

“Success is nothing more than living your life according to your own truth and your own terms”

– Robin S. Sharma

Life Challenge: Imbalance

I am sure when you read that title you thought that this was another article that was going to illustrate how working hard can give you joy. Many years ago, I would have written an article like that.

I am/was a workaholic. I say it that way because I am still on my journey to recover from being one. Years ago – I never realized how unbalanced I really was until a former partner and my sister put it right in my face. And I am thankful they did.

Early in my career, I felt this odd and now strange loyalty to “the corporation”. I recalled doing some crazy things like spending all weekend working on a project and sending emails all weekend, to going on a personal trip and feeling compelled to visit one of our sites on the trip, even if that meant, my then partner and sister had to delay their plans. There was this madness or hamster wheel I was on, that made me believe that my life’s purpose was for “the corporation”.

And you can imagine how delaying plans on a personal vacation went. I was not only informed of my behaviour, I experienced the consequences of it. It was this moment, that I began to question “why do I have this belief or drive”, “at what cost, do I want to nurture this drive””, and “does the corporation really care I have this drive?”. I had to face these questions head on.

The goods news is that I think (and hope) I have a more balanced perspective about “joy” and work. In fact, I think if you are into workaholism, I worry its at a cost to your true joy.

Yes, I get that doing well in your career and making a difference in people’s lives, gives people joy. And I love the people I work with and am very grateful to them and for them and because of them, am lucky.

However, I now argue that workaholism is about imbalance and by its very nature defines being joyful about doing more, and getting gratification from a place that doesn’t always give back. I would argue that it is about putting your energy towards something that just always wants more and more.

** One caveat – I am not a trained professional such as a psychologist. I only share what worked for me and helped me shift. And the list below is just a starting point that helped me flow in a new direction. **

The Opportunity: 5 Small Steps to Take and Begin “Being”

Any addiction is tough (but not impossible) to shift. And mine is a life long journey of recovery. And I have made a lot of progress. It has taken years but there were a few early steps I have taken that has helped me start breaking free from the burden of my belief system. Here is what worked for me (and respect that this may not work for everyone)

1. Reframe: Start Repeating “I am a human being not a human doing”

After disappointing my family and friends on our personal vacation, I became more curious about how exactly “I got here”. All I knew was it wasn’t working for me anymore, but I didn’t know what “the right way” was. Until one day, I was reading a book and recalled in bold text, the author stating “I am a human being and not a human doing!” And there it was – the moment I realized how mixed up my thinking really was. I then used this as my mantra everyday. And when the thoughts of guilt crept in about work, I would utter this mantra and caused my frame of reference to shift.

2. Reallocate: Track and Shift how much time you spend on work

Sometimes greater awareness using objective information can help open your eyes to exactly how much time you spend on work. Tracking it on a sheet can very quickly draw your attention to how much of your precious time is spent on: sleep, work, family and friends, and personal growth. And then after you track that for a few months (to get a sense of your trend over time), decide what those numbers and proportions should be. And then see what small steps you could take to advocate for yourself.

3. Reaffirm: Define your own terms and boundaries


The Great Resignation, resulting in people leaving their “successful” careers to find balance, is a sign that people see it and want to define life on their terms and set some boundaries. Setting these boundaries is not only healthy but helps you be true to yourself. Setting boundaries is not a “big bang” event. It takes numerous baby steps and repeated actions but setting boundaries around your time, your pace, your evenings, lunch hours and weekends, are a must.

And as I wrote in another blog post, part of finding joy is needing to declare your north star. Having a north star helps you define your boundaries.

4. Reinvest: Find 1 hobby or leisure activity that you love – truly love

I had taken the early steps to change the way I thought about things. And now I needed to start investing my time not in work but in me. This is when I started to enjoy camping and gardening. I found peace and solace in being in nature and working the soil, or sitting by a fire and just zoning out. Finding a hobby allows you to learn about yourself. This new hobby helps you discover what makes you tick, really tick. Once you start learning what that is, it makes you crave it more.

Having this hobby also helps you define yourself in new ways. You learn you can be more than work

5. Reflect: Take a few moments everyday to acknowledge the small steps you have taken

And finally, you need to continue to look back and see how much progress you have made and celebrate. You need to know where you can tweak your steps and plans, but you mostly need to find ways to celebrate what you have done. This is hard work, and every single step, counts. You can reflect by writing in a journal or just take 15 minutes every day and just think about what this past week went in the right direction in terms of your journey and what else you can do next week to keep you going.

The one last comment I do want to share is if you see yourself as a workaholic, be kind to yourself. While I know I could read more about addictions and recovery, my story is about taking a trial and error approach to healing. But the one thing I have learned is that you can’t heal if you carry shame and guilt. Healing comes from being kind to yourself. That also is a life long “thing” I am learning, but step one, is kindness. It’s the first step to creating that new flow.

Bliss Moment #18

My bliss moment comes from knowing that I have made a lot of strides in curbing my workaholism. I am not done, and accept there will always be an element of it in my life. I am ambitious, determined and visionary and sometimes I lose my balance.

However, being ambitious, determined and visionary should not equate to needing to be a workaholic. And, life isn’t always about doing more. I do think you can be Type A and still find balance. It takes work but I have to admit I am more joyful knowing that I can give myself permission to take a break from work. In fact, I am at a point where I encourage the team I work with, to shut off and forget work and I do not send them any messages or texts on the weekend.

I am proud to say that I have learned the art of napping (without guilt) on the weekends. I could never do it years ago and admired those who could. Today, I am happy to say I can and give my brain permission to shut off.

I love giving myself the freedom to not worry about work. I now enjoy getting lost in gardening or landscaping. Letting go of the guilt of “well XX is due next week and so I should really get it going this weekend” is freeing.

I work hard 9-5 (ok maybe 8 to 6). I am productive, effective and reliable team member. However, on my evenings and weekends, I give myself permission to be as productive, reliable and caring to myself.

I am still working on balancing work within my 9-5 day and am finding the courage to set boundaries, and set the pace I am comfortable with. Recently, an executive coach (who was worth every penny) reminded me that one of my “needs” is to have freedom not just after work but also “in the 9-5”. I will share how that is going later on and as always, open to hearing your ideas.

But the balance and finding it, is critical. If I am balanced, I am more effective. If I am balanced, I work smarter not harder. When I am balanced, I am focussed on the right things – things that matter. And that sets the tone not just for my team but for myself.

Life is short. And I want to look back on my life and remember the adventures not just the “tasks and projects” I worked on. I have more to say and share on recovering from being a workaholic but sure am more joyful these days. I know that I have to continue to make progress and challenge the “beast” on a daily basis. Because if I don’t challenge the beast, returning to my workaholic ways is just a short slide away. And I can’t go back.

You can’t live with regret. The one I regret I do have is not realizing it sooner. But I don’t regret being called out for it. It was the moment that caused me to shift and flow in a new direction. That pivotal moment was the first time I believed in finding joy in the everyday.

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • For basic information about workaholism and how the evidence continues to shift, read the following short article from the American Psychological Association. Just more proof why I have to keep working at this journey.
  • As with all things, nothing is black and white. Here is an article that points out this thing called workaholism is also not black and white. See what you think.
  • For some understanding about some factors that can contribute to this tendency, here is a recent article about perfectionism from the Canadian Psychology Association.

The Joy of Camping – A Closer Look at Rushing River

Mar 27, 2022 Play
The Joy of Camping – A Closer Look at Rushing River

Folks have asked for some more details about camping at Rushing River after my first post on Rushing River. Great! Hear are some more details and really hope folks are inspired to visit!

Rushing River: The Park

Rushing River is about 20-25 minutes from the town of Kenora – a very cute and pretty town in the northwest edge of Ontario. The park wraps itself around the western edge of Dogtooth Lake, and has some of the most beautiful camping sites on either edge of the lake. Tall pines and rocky shores along with sandy beaches, are common features.

It has 2 large boat docks, for the boating fans and if you know the lake well, you can be on the lake for hours and can enjoy lunch on many islands. If you don’t like boats, then you can canoe, kayak or paddle-board or just float, on the lake.

There is a point where the lake pours into a smaller lake/river and creates some majestic falls. It’s the drawing card and name sake of this park “Rushing River”.

The park is perfect for families or singles or couples without kids. It is extremely well maintained and they are very good at keeping the park quiet so that everyone can enjoy it. You will find modern showers and also modern bathroom facilities. You will also find outhouses peppered throughout the campground and running potable water.

There is a campground store nearby (about 3 minutes by car outside of the park gates) and a small coffee shop in the park that serves coffee and some light snacks. You can rent canoes at the store and if you forget something “big”, the town of Kenora will have everything you need!

Campgrounds

More about the campgrounds. The campgrounds are divided into about 4 zones. There is a 5th Group Camping zone, but I’ll focus on the individual campsites for now.

I’ve been going here for over a decade, and have stayed in all 4 zones. Of course I have my favourites zones – the north west and south east zones. No matter the zone, I have always enjoyed this park.

There are many sites on the water and why I pick the north west and south east zones – for easy access to the lake. (There are also many sites not on the water, and perfect for campers and RVs). If you are interested in these sites, check out the following sites. While there aren’t the only sites but some of the ones I’ve used.

67, 105, 106, 104, 110, and 225-231

You have sites that are flat and level and perfect for RVs). On other sites you will park on the hill, and then walk all your gear down. Although this may feel like a pain, these are some of the most beautiful sites! My friends and I gripe each time about the haul down the hill. The minute we are done and sipping a nice wine, and staring at the lake, the griping is over!!!!!!

The Lake

The lake is the drawing card. I will have more to say about the lake, but for this post, I will share some of the highlights.

If you want to have a relaxing paddle or just float slowly down the lake, this lake is for you. The Dogtooth Lake is the centre of this park, literally. Some folks jet ski, others bring their motorboats and head out for some fishing. Others spend their day at the beach, where its shallow and go for a swim.I like to paddle-board up and down the lake. There are a few sites where you can access the lake right from your site.

Whatever water sport is a fit for you, chances are you can enjoy it on this lake.

Hiking

Rushing River also has 4 hiking trails near by. I’ve attached a copy of the trails map, courtesy of Ontario Parks. All various lengths. Some are short and one that can last a few hours but has some beautiful scenery. All of the trails are accessible from the park and all have parking lots near by.

The Area

Rushing River is located in an area that features other campgrounds, and towns. There is a lot to explore. If you leave the park and go south, you will head down to places like Nestor Falls and Sioux Narrows. Perfect afternoon trips and lots to see. If you go down to the US border, you will be able to visit Fort Frances. From there, you can cross the border and spend time at the International Falls.

If You Decide to Go

Like many campsites today, you can reserve online. One hint: this park is very popular in the summer and if you want to get a lake side site, you will have to book it 6 months in advance. If you don’t care about a water site, then you can book those a few weeks or a few days ahead (with the exception on long weekends).

Joy and Wander – Getting Lost at the Met in NYC

Mar 24, 2022 Play
Joy and Wander – Getting Lost at the Met in NYC

“A visit to a museum is a search for beauty, truth, and meaning in our lives. Go to museums as often as you can.”
— Maira Kalman

Museums hold such joy and inspiration.  Yes, I know that museums aren’t for everyone, and to those folks I say “but have you really tried”.   

I wouldn’t say I am a junkie but every time I visit or visited a new city, one of the first things I do is visit a museum.  (For the record, I have visited it about 7 times.) 

Why?  Because it holds so many stories – stories about how we got here today, how this city came to be, and who had brilliant ideas before their their time.

One of my “A list” museums that I love and truly adore,  is the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.  (And yes, I have also been to museums in Europe and still adore the Met).  I know you may be asking yourself  “when will I ever get there”?  Well, I was in the same boat for many years and then one year, my friends and I just stopped saying never and “just did it”.

The Metropolitan Museum is massive but not overwhelming.  When you walk into the main hall, you immediately get a sense of the scale of the museum and the beauty it contains. (If you scroll down, you can see a brief slideshow of some of my favourite highlights.)

You can meander all the halls and design your own path and flow.  There are multiple floors including a lower level that often houses a costume museum (and one of my favourite parts of the Met).  Your visit is made up of a series of connected halls and rooms, on all floors, and if you get a little “noshy”, you can also enjoy one of my favourite cafes, looking out to Central Park, called the Petrie Court Cafe . (PS. After I visit the Met, I head south to Central Park with a coffee, and just wander in the Park. 

You will not be disappointed.  The museum holds famous artists such as Monet, Picasso and Renoir.  And then you also see artwork or displays that just take your breathe away.   If you’re like me, that’s because you  aren’t an aficionado but the artwork just inspires you.   

If you catch some of the exhibits, you can also see a room full of twinkling diamonds, rubies and emeralds, donated by movie stars and wealthy aristocrats. I think I spent hours at this exhibition and tried to take in all that artistry and “shine” that lit up the room.  It oozed decadence and beauty.

My favourite is the sun dappled court in the American Wing, where you can sit in the sun filled atrium amongst the roman statues, and just wanting to pinch yourself.

This museum has it all.  Period.

Want to see a hall full of arm and armour including ones on armored horseback? It has it.

Want to wander a room full of European Sculpture atrium?  They have it.

Want to see all the famous artists you have every heard of? It has it.

Want to visit an Egyptian (“Temple of Dendur”) and a room full of mummies? Not one mummy, a room full! They have it.

Want to walk into rooms from 18th century France and see how the rich people lived back then?  It has it.

Whatever it is that you were curious about and wanted to see “live”, they have it.   

I will write more about the Met (and New York City) later because there is so much to write.  

But my question to you is, when will you visit?

Bliss Reflection #15

Touring the museum can take hours if you wish to see it all, and also learn more about each of the displays. Sometimes when I visit, I only have a couple of hours and make it a point to see my favourite spots and then call it good.  Most times, I plan on spending either a full afternoon, or a full day (if I plan on stopping and eating).  

But the joy of visiting this particular museum comes from the beauty, the history, and all the learning. 

Museums feed two joy “ingredients”- 1) curiosity and 2) wandering.  I love feeding my curiosity about all things called “life” and the Met allows me to feed myself full.   I am always surprised by what I didn’t see the last time I visited.  

Sometimes, I choose a hall and decide today I will learn more about glass vases and place settings throughout history. And then imagine what life was like back then and “how did they do that”? 

Other times, I choose to wander slowly and take more time to sit, and stare at a particular painting that is larger than life in many ways.

Whatever the focus on my adventure, I am like a kid in the candy store when I walk into the Great Hall, their main entry off of the infamous 5th Avenue. The anticipation of it is half the fun.

As I wander through, I am amazed at what civilization is capable of – good, and yes bad, but mostly good.  The ingenuity, the craftsmanship, the human spirt and the connection to nature when all this tech stuff was not there – all are amazing.

My favourite joy moment, is when my friends all chipped in and bought me a membership at the Met.   With my membership,  I was able to use one of their private member rooms. And there I was, a northern prairie girl, sipping a glass of wine, sitting beside the other New Yorkers.  Pinch me.  

I have to say – I sat there and took it all in. I looked around the room and wondered about all of the stories this room and these people had.  For a minute, I crossed paths with many life stories, while I sat there thinking “how did I get here”? 

For me, the Met was a “once in a lifetime” joy moment. And look at me now, I’ve been there not once, but seven times.  Life is short, and why not enjoy your once in a lifetime?

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • Did you know that the Met has audio tours and you can listen to them from the comfort of your home? Check out their audio guide.
  • For a listing of the current exhibitions and events, along with access their online map and shop, click here.
  • Visit the Joy of Museums webpage for more information about many museums across the world.
  • For some interesting facts about the Met, check out this blog on Mental Floss.

The Joy of Having a Norwich

Mar 18, 2022 Live
The Joy of Having a Norwich

The Norwich Terrier was not a dog I had ever heard of until one joined my family a while ago. Although not as common a dog breed, it’s one that is full of spirit, determination and joy.

I first got to know this breed in 2009, when I was lucky enough to bring one home. Never owning a dog before I realized I had to do some homework first. When looking for a dog that matched my energy level, the “groove” in the house, and my experience (or lack thereof). But after consulting a few websites and reading more about the breed, I realized this was the breed for me.

A Little About the Norwich

This breed is a ”big dog in a small dog’s body”. This dog is all personality and is loyal, playful, and gregarious.

I find that he’s good with kids, reads people well and knows when to engage with someone and when to respect their space. They are dogs that both love to cuddle and chill and love to play with you. My little guy also knows when to do his ”cute pose” which can either mean, ”play with me” or just simply ”aren’t I cute mom?”

Activity

They love to walk and mine has this cute “sideways” walk where his little caboose kind of shifts to the left.

Any happy Norwich loves a yard where they can hunt. They have these huge front paws that are excellent diggers (because their job is to go after small critters such as mice etc), and mine loves to dig in his usual spot under the cedar bush or in my vegetable garden! He may have stolen a petunia or two or three but he has thankfully grown out of that. (Imagine a grown adult chasing a 15lb dog all over the yard, with a petunia hanging out of the dog’s mouth…root and all!)

Health

Health wise, they generally have good health. I discovered midway through having him, that he could be considered a brachycephalic dog due to some “skin flap” that they have. So after doing some research, I have been careful around overly exercising him in heat, and always remind the vet before any procedures.

In their older age, there can be issues with their eyes and hips, but this one has been generally in great health with the exception with one episode of cancer (now 4 years ago….will share more later.)


Bliss Reflection #14

I know that it’s obvious that pets and dogs bring people joy. I have had cats before that i loved.

But the Norwich personality is quite unique. They are feisty but loving all at the same time. On one hand, you have this small mack truck coming at you with a huge happy grin, flying across the air. And then a few moments later, he wants to lay on your lap and have a nap. He’s got the cutest butt, and when he walks, he’s got a bouncy waddle. And he always has a huge smile!

So how could this little bundle not give you joy? The answer is ”I don’t know!” Ziggy, will turn 13 in a few weeks, and is a survivor of cancer. And even though he’s slowed down just a little, he always wants to spread joy.

He just has to give me a look, I call it the ”Ziggy look” and then my heart melts. Not sure I could put into words how he has made a difference in my life. He can make your tears go away or make me have a belly laugh. I recognize and love his feistiness. And maybe it matches my level of feistiness.

They want very little, but to be loved, walked, fed, and played with. And in return they can make a lonely day go away. In return, you get some joy watching this cute butt sticking from under a bush, causing tons of mulch and soil to come flying everywhere.

All they want to do is be with you. This little guy has even joined me paddle-boarding. He loves to fall asleep on the front of the board, while I gently rock it through the water. He loves camping and can’t wait to climb into the tent and fall asleep under the cool evening sky.

He’s my little buddy. He’s taught me so much like how to just how to “be” there for someone. I’ve learned the importance of enjoying the small things in life. He’s shown me that an occasional nap during the day can make you happy.

The Norwich Terrier is hands down just the epitome of a happy go lucky dog.

PS. While I typed this entry, he was staring at me intently hoping that I would stop soon and give him some love and attention.

PPS. This isn’t ToTo from the Wizard of Oz. I believe that was a Cairn Terrier but these look a lot like ToTo. And yes, this is the breed that was in the “Best in Show” movie.

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • There are many sites that provide more information about the Norwich Terrier. But the best authority is the American (Canadian) Kennel Club.
  • Meet the woman who may have inspired “Best in Breed”.
After a good day of fun, the Norwich Terrier takes a nap. Oh the joy of having a Norwich!

In 30 minutes and a coffee, learn what gives your team joy

Mar 15, 2022 Work
In 30 minutes and a coffee, learn what gives your team joy

“Being able to uplift others is the biggest miracle in the world.”  

 – Sri Avinash Do

The Problem

Many many years ago, I realized that I was dissatisfied with the way organizations conducted performance appraisals.  Yes, we talked about strengths and areas of improvements and goals for the next year. That was fine.

What was I missing?  As a leader, I still didn’t understand what made this person “tick” or what brought them some joy at work.  I didn’t know what truly motivated them and I am not alone.

So after doing some research focussed on performance appraisals, I kept coming up short.  I found new tools, some shorter, some more thorough but never could find what I was looking for – a tool that helped me understand their joy, spark or motivation.

The Solution

And then, I figured it out.  I realized that what I was looking for wasn’t part of a performance appraisal per se, but rather some important motivational questions to ask each of your team members – regardless of what performance appraisal tools you use.   

The light bulb came to me when I saw tools around exit interviews and the type of questions asked.  And I wondered – why do we ask these kinds of questions when people leave?  Why aren’t we asking these questions aasked while staff are still with you? 

Wouldn’t these questions help leaders “keep” people at your organization or while they are there, help keep them more satisfied with the work environment?  To me, the answer was simple. That would be a yes.

I wondered about questions like “what makes you want to come into work in the morning”, or “what would make you want to leave” or “if you were the boss, what would you change”?, shed a lot of light. And I kept going and adding over time.

I added more questions, until I developed my “Coffee Chat” tool.  I now use this tool as a “starting point” to help me open the discussion on individual motivation.  Sometimes depending on the individual I go through the whole list, other times, I only ask 1 question and then just spend time on that one area, other times I modify questions “on the fly”.  

Sometimes, I ask my colleague ”is there a question you wished I asked but didn’t”. And not surprisingly, they say ”yes” and begin to tell me more of what is on their mind. Regardless of the question, its about the listening. Its also about trust and building trust with your colleagues (and I will have more to say about that in future blogs.)

I do these coffee chats 1-2 times per year because people are complex and motivations can change.  As a leader I need to be reminded regularly about what makes folks tick. Yes, it takes up my time as a very busy leader but I view these moments as investments. Investments in my colleagues and also in myself as a leader. It goes both ways.

So all this takes 30 minutes, and a cup of coffee.  You can learn so much about your colleague, while they are still with you, how they want to grow, and if they are starting to feel ”restless”.

In a previous post, I talked about a model I use as my “north star” and highlighted a model I follow.  Two of the dimensions of the model is 1)encouraging the heart and 2) enabling others to act.  By taking the time to listen to the ”heart” within each of your colleagues, you better understand what you as a leader can do to enable their desire and motivation. Sometimes, as the saying goes, all it takes is a spark. And then – your colleagues or team, takes it from there.

Bliss Reflection #16

Coffee Chat is a tool I have used probably for the last 15 years (or more).  No matter the team or organization, I use the tool. I know it will sound a little corny, but it brings me joy.  

Work days are busy. There are always assignments, deadlines, work plans, and issues.  Everyday can be like the next but just different topics and files.  But I work with people – people who have goals, stories and inspirations, that were shaped by life events and experiences outside of work. As their leader – I am just one stop in their journey.

So I love learning about my coworkers beyond just their job description.  Every time I hear their story, I am fascinated, surprised, impressed, and inspired.  I also realize, that I don’t know my staff as well as I thought I did. 

Each time, I also hear some ideas that are easy and implementable.  I hear about opportunities folks wished they could pursue WHILE IN THEIR JOB.  And as their leader, I love being able to help them pursue their joy.  Yes, I know that sometimes I can’t always do everything they wish, but my thinking generally is “why not”?  If I can keep experienced staff who are wanting to grow in the organization, why not try to help them?

What else is interesting, is that every time I have these discussions, I hear person X is interested in Y, and then Y seems to appears.  Let me explain.  

If a staff member says they wish to learn more about department wide committees, I find myself at a meeting shortly after where a new department wide committee is discussed.  Whether this is pure coincidence or the universe working its magic, I am not sure,  but each time I do this coffee chat, this phenomenon always happens.  

And to me, doesn’t matter why. But it happens, and a smile comes across my face each time it does. And in a time where there is the Great Resignation, I think its even more important to do these stay interviews.  And as a leader, we need that joy too.

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • Here is an article about the stay interview during the Great Resignation.
  • Harvard Business Review has a great article looking at why employees stay.

Does Red or White Wine Taste Better in the Spring?

Mar 13, 2022 Live
Does Red or White Wine Taste Better in the Spring?

Question: Is it me or does red taste better in the winter and white in the summer?

Answer: For me, and understand tastes are different for each person, but red tastes much better or should I say tastes almost ”warming” in the winter and white is almost “refreshing” in the summer. Ok maybe no surprise to many of you and a bit of a ”well, duh” moment.

But why does this matter to me?

Many years ago I never knew one thing about wine. I actually disliked it with a passion. One day, I chose to let go of these firm beliefs and allows myself to be open to tasting wine and seeing if maybe there was one I would enjoy.

Till that point, I had only known the ”wedding wine” that was served on each of the tables and varied from almost ”concord grape wine” to some sparkly white beverage that resembled wine. In my early 20s, I wondered what all these mature adults saw in this grape juice in a plastic glass. “No thank you!”

I can’t remember when exactly I allowed myself to let go of my beliefs, but I remembered suddenly finding a glass I enjoyed. I think that first glass was a shiraz and may have been the Little Penguin brand. Finally, I said, something that tastes a little fuller, has some smoothness to it, and went well with my food. That first moment that your taste buds appreciate the blending of wine and food is heaven. I both suddenly felt like a real adult (funny that) and reacquainted myself with my taste buds.

Today, after a few wine tasting courses and events, I can tell you which grape and blend I enjoy the most, generally know which countries are better for certain grapes and blends (or at least which ones I prefer), can tell you which wines go with what kind of food, and can walk into a wine store and not be completely intimidated.

Bliss Reflection #12

I would not call myself even close to an expert, but I have gone from ”no way” to appreciating the comfort a nice glass of full bodied Shiraz in the winter to enjoying my favourite Sauvignon Blanc as I sit by the backyard fire in the summer. So as predictable as the change in season, I tend to switch between red and white as the seasons change. I may even find white unappealing in winter, and red far too warm in the summer.

But I think my joy comes from the reawakening of the taste buds. Even better, I think wine was the first adult thing I did where I didn’t use it to “get drunk” – I wanted to learn more about this thing called wine.

I wanted to know how these were made, who made them, what the heck is a chardonnay, how to pair these with foods, and on and on and on. Wine was my first hobby where I allowed my curiosity to keep going and allowed myself to explore.

I went on a hunt to discover what wine was ”me”. (You could this was part of me discovering myself but I will leave that deep of analysis to the professionals). And I finally found not just one type of wine, but a few grapes that I enjoy! Shiraz, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Noir and Sauvignon tend to be my “go to”. Chardonnay, and Malbec not so much. And then there are those ”blends” that are a safe bet when you just want to sit and sip the wine by itself.

I have visited several vineyards including in Sonoma Valley, France, Ontario and British Columbia (my favourite vineyard there is Quail’s Gate) and have tasted hundreds of wines over many years, I have allowed myself to be open and to try new things that got me out of my comfort zone. I allowed myself to express myself and not limit myself or my curiosity. There is a lot of joy in feeding that curiosity! Lots of fantastic memories with friends, food and travel…all around wine. (My friends and I may have also organized some fun ”galas” around it…and more on that in later blogs.)

And not till I wrote this post did I realize that the joy of wine was also being amidst nature and marvelling about how nature knows to do all of this. The scenery, the fresh air, the colours and the sunshine – all come together around this glass of wine. And maybe the ability to wander and just take it all in does a soul some good. So how often do you let yourself wander?

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • Wanting to know more about wine? Many cities offer wine tasting courses (for folks who have never sipped a glass they liked to folks who want a deeper understanding about how they are produced). I’ve done them a few times and each time I learn more. For some basics, I found a good website called the Wine Folly.
  • If you want to know more about Quails Gate – a wine I drink for some guilty pleasure – check out info about Kelowna, British Columbia and also the vineyard itself.

Paddling Your Cares Away (and trying something new)

Mar 11, 2022 Play
Paddling Your Cares Away (and trying something new)

Over the last 2 years, I decided to try something new. I realized how much I loved being around water and after floating many time in a dingy in one of my favourite lakes – Dogtooth Lake in Rushing River.

Each time I was in my little boat, I would see folks paddleboarding past me and me saying ”I need to try that one day”. What an odd concept I thought – someone kayaking standing up but doing this would also mean that I would spend more time on the water, which to me is just soothing.

So setting my mind to it, I set out and got myself an inexpensive paddleboard, not knowing if I would like this or not. But off I went, with little to no research and got myself a board and turns out I liked it. I was so eager to get my board in time for the lake, that I found almost the first one I located online. (I would highly recommend in the future doing more homework than I did because…

Funny story – after using it a few times, and friends using it, we realized that I actually bought a junior paddleboard! Oh well, but I tried it and I liked it so upgraded this past summer to an iRocker paddleboard and loved it.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”

– Rumi

Bliss Reflection #2

Being on the water, lightens my load. Whether its the sights or sounds on the lake or the gentle movement of the board on the water, paddleboarding seems to make my worries float away. Although standing up on the board is still ”under construction”, I have enjoyed flaoting on the lake and looking around and trying to understand the world I live in. Its not uncommon that each time I see a bird I have never seen or hear a new sound. My curiousity about what that is or was, gives me life. Curiousity and this hunger to learn makes paddleboarding so appealing. You see the world from a different lens and there can be such peace and tranquility that comes with it. Sure the wobbling and uneveness on the board can distracting, but once you settle in, its very calming. Finding the right body of water (that is generally calm and has a lot of space between you and the motorboats) is key to your experience, but once you find it (and there are many) you are moments from your meditative moment. Its quie surprising how quickly you get hooked.

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • If you are looking for a new paddleboard, consider iRocker. I have had the Cruiser for 1 paddling season, and while not nearly a pro, I am really enjoying it. Its a very stable board (great for beginners) and the company has a ton of accessories you can get including cooler bags, drink cup holders, and even a bluetooth speaker. When the spring thaw comes, I am all geared up!
  • Need some paddling routes? I am trialing the Go Paddling app. It not only has hiking trails but also some good intel on paddling routes. Know of others? Let me know!
The Fire Colours in the Fall (Yes, the Photo was taken while balancing on the board

Are You Nurturing the ”Geek” Inside?

Mar 9, 2022 Play
Are You Nurturing the ”Geek” Inside?

I may be dating myself a bit here, but the thing that gave me one of my greatest joys was my first video game machine – Atari. Atari was THE game unit to have. Of course, every year or so after that, other video game units like Nintendo, Commodore 64 and Sega came out (which were great), but I loved my Atari. I had numerous Atari games that I loved and played for hours: Asteroids, Maze Craze, Pac Man, Donkey-Kong, and Montezuma’s Revenge…just to name a few. While I know the graphics today are eons ahead, these games just blew your mind! 

I must have spent hours playing Maze Craze and trying to beat my best score. I think I was so geeked out over my video games, I may have even played hooky from school and pretended I was sick so I could beat the game at Asteroids. (And I did beat the game that day by the way…and I think my sister knew I was playing hooky – but she didn’t tell!)

Bliss Reflections #10

I knew very early on in life that I was a geek – said with pride and joy. Anytime I got to play a video game, or play on my first computer (or Nintendo Wii), I feel a lot of joy. How could a wood-like box make me so excited, at peace and feeling in my element? I will share more in future posts – I think I know the answer and it seems that I have remained true to my geekiness right into adulthood. I know for a fact that I am so at ease with computers (including troubleshooting), iPads, spreadsheets, databases and Powerpoints, because I nurtured that geeky side…I could even stretch things and say video games made me good at math and science (!) 

But I think the joy in this story isn’t about me. I think the thing that brings me joy is that I knew my father saved his spare pennies and got me my Atari for Christmas. I was over the moon and to this day, I still remember seeing the Eaton’s bag (a wonderful department store in Canada) in the living room, and jumping up and down for joy because I could not believe that I DID get my Atari unit. But even more importantly, I remember the big smile on his face when he sat in the living room, watching his daughter rip the box apart.

My dad loved to see his girls happy. And being a new immigrant to Canada, I knew that he didn’t have an easy life. But I think the bliss moment isn’t about me – it was the joy my dad felt when he saw his little girl tear open the box and squealed in disbelief. 

My dad’s life was hard – he saw a war, lost his family and country, and like many men from that era, struggled. But My dad nurtured my ”inner geek”. And I am forever grateful. 

That day, he wore a huge smile. Whenever he was really happy, he had this ”posture” where he would be sitting, leaning over, wearing a huge smile, wringing his hands, and nodding his head with a knowing look in a ”yup, I think I’ve done good”. He was proud – proud that he could ”provide for his family” and make his children happy. Looking back, it wasn’t about the purchase – not to my dad or to me. It was that smile, and while I remember that Atari so many years later, I also remember his proud dad posture and his ear to ear grin as he watched intently how his daughter set up the video game. I am happy that my dad felt that emotion in his life. I am so grateful that my dad knew happiness.

Bliss Finds and Facts

  • If you want to learn more about Atari or go down memory lane, check out the Atari website. Looks like they have a new unit – and I just may have to check it out.
My nirvana at 12 years old