In 30 minutes and a coffee, learn what gives your team joy

“Being able to uplift others is the biggest miracle in the world.”  

– Sri Avinash Do

The Problem

Many many years ago, I realized that I was dissatisfied with the way organizations conducted performance appraisals.  Yes, we talked about strengths and areas of improvements and goals for the next year. That was fine.

What was I missing?  As a leader, I still didn’t understand what made this person “tick” or what brought them some joy at work.  I didn’t know what truly motivated them and I am not alone.

So after doing some research focussed on performance appraisals, I kept coming up short.  I found new tools, some shorter, some more thorough but never could find what I was looking for – a tool that helped me understand their joy, spark or motivation.

The Solution

And then, I figured it out.  I realized that what I was looking for wasn’t part of a performance appraisal per se, but rather some important motivational questions to ask each of your team members – regardless of what performance appraisal tools you use.   

The light bulb came to me when I saw tools around exit interviews and the type of questions asked.  And I wondered – why do we ask these kinds of questions when people leave?  Why aren’t we asking these questions aasked while staff are still with you? 

Wouldn’t these questions help leaders “keep” people at your organization or while they are there, help keep them more satisfied with the work environment?  To me, the answer was simple. That would be a yes.

I wondered about questions like “what makes you want to come into work in the morning”, or “what would make you want to leave” or “if you were the boss, what would you change”?, shed a lot of light. And I kept going and adding over time.

I added more questions, until I developed my “Coffee Chat” tool.  I now use this tool as a “starting point” to help me open the discussion on individual motivation.  Sometimes depending on the individual I go through the whole list, other times, I only ask 1 question and then just spend time on that one area, other times I modify questions “on the fly”.  

Sometimes, I ask my colleague ”is there a question you wished I asked but didn’t”. And not surprisingly, they say ”yes” and begin to tell me more of what is on their mind. Regardless of the question, its about the listening. Its also about trust and building trust with your colleagues (and I will have more to say about that in future blogs.)

I do these coffee chats 1-2 times per year because people are complex and motivations can change.  As a leader I need to be reminded regularly about what makes folks tick. Yes, it takes up my time as a very busy leader but I view these moments as investments. Investments in my colleagues and also in myself as a leader. It goes both ways.

So all this takes 30 minutes, and a cup of coffee.  You can learn so much about your colleague, while they are still with you, how they want to grow, and if they are starting to feel ”restless”.

In a previous post, I talked about a model I use as my “north star” and highlighted a model I follow.  Two of the dimensions of the model is 1)encouraging the heart and 2) enabling others to act.  By taking the time to listen to the ”heart” within each of your colleagues, you better understand what you as a leader can do to enable their desire and motivation. Sometimes, as the saying goes, all it takes is a spark. And then – your colleagues or team, takes it from there.

Bliss Reflection #16

Coffee Chat is a tool I have used probably for the last 15 years (or more).  No matter the team or organization, I use the tool. I know it will sound a little corny, but it brings me joy.  

Work days are busy. There are always assignments, deadlines, work plans, and issues.  Everyday can be like the next but just different topics and files.  But I work with people – people who have goals, stories and inspirations, that were shaped by life events and experiences outside of work. As their leader – I am just one stop in their journey.

So I love learning about my coworkers beyond just their job description.  Every time I hear their story, I am fascinated, surprised, impressed, and inspired.  I also realize, that I don’t know my staff as well as I thought I did. 

Each time, I also hear some ideas that are easy and implementable.  I hear about opportunities folks wished they could pursue WHILE IN THEIR JOB.  And as their leader, I love being able to help them pursue their joy.  Yes, I know that sometimes I can’t always do everything they wish, but my thinking generally is “why not”?  If I can keep experienced staff who are wanting to grow in the organization, why not try to help them?

What else is interesting, is that every time I have these discussions, I hear person X is interested in Y, and then Y seems to appears.  Let me explain.  

If a staff member says they wish to learn more about department wide committees, I find myself at a meeting shortly after where a new department wide committee is discussed.  Whether this is pure coincidence or the universe working its magic, I am not sure,  but each time I do this coffee chat, this phenomenon always happens.  

And to me, doesn’t matter why. But it happens, and a smile comes across my face each time it does. And in a time where there is the Great Resignation, I think its even more important to do these stay interviews.  And as a leader, we need that joy too.

Bliss Finds and Facts

• Here is an article about the stay interview during the Great Resignation.
• Harvard Business Review has a great article looking at why employees stay.