Kindness vs. Being Nice: 5 Practical Tips for Authentic Leadership
In the workplace, many people confuse being nice with being kind, but these two behaviors have vastly different impacts on leadership and team dynamics. While being nice is about avoiding conflict and pleasing others, kindness is rooted in authenticity, care, and courage—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Why the Difference Matters
Nice leaders often prioritize short-term harmony over long-term solutions. They avoid tough conversations, sidestep critical feedback, and may unintentionally foster a culture of complacency. Kindness, on the other hand, is about being empathetic and honest, even when the truth is hard to hear. Kind leaders lead with heart but don’t shy away from holding themselves and others accountable.
As a leader, being kind over being nice fosters trust, encourages growth, and supports a healthy, productive work environment.
What the Research Says
Studies show that employees value honesty and transparency in leadership. A 2016 study by Harvard Business Review found that 58% of employees said they trust strangers more than their own boss. Trust in leadership is one of the most important factors in employee engagement and retention, and practicing kindness over niceness can strengthen this foundation of trust .
5 Tips to Practice Kindness in Leadership Tomorrow
1. Give Constructive Feedback
Rather than avoiding difficult conversations, approach them with empathy and clarity. Offer feedback that is direct but focused on helping the person grow. Kindness means caring enough to guide someone toward improvement, even if it’s uncomfortable.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Being nice can often blur boundaries as leaders try to avoid disappointing others. In contrast, setting clear expectations and boundaries is a form of kindness—it creates a framework for mutual respect and trust. Teams perform better when they know what’s expected of them.
3. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Engage your team with open-ended questions that show you care about their input. This fosters open communication, gives them a chance to voice concerns or ideas, and shows that you value their perspective. Kindness encourages dialogue, where being nice might just gloss over issues.
4. Practice Radical Candor
Kim Scott’s concept of radical candor promotes balancing caring personally with challenging directly. Instead of sugar-coating or withholding difficult truths, radical candor allows you to be kind and clear in addressing both strengths and areas for improvement.
5. Lead by Example
Demonstrate kindness in your own behavior, whether that means being transparent about your own mistakes or acknowledging others’ contributions. When your team sees you leading with integrity and genuine care, they’re more likely to follow suit.
Bottom Line:
Being kind isn’t about avoiding difficult moments; it’s about facing them head-on with empathy and respect. As leaders, shifting from niceness to kindness helps build stronger, more trusting teams that are better equipped to grow and succeed.
If you’re ready to lead with kindness and transform your leadership style, follow me on LinkedIn for more insights into authentic leadership and growth.
Till next week. And keep SHiNEing.
Ps. You’ll notice that some of the links take you to my new website: Basiasbliss.com. It’s a work in progress, and please don’t mind the construction. It’s going through an overhaul, and will not only have the pasts posts I did but also more information on the workshops and services I hope to make available. It’s a project of love, but full of cringe-worthy moments, for now.
Email: SHiNE_Workbook@shaw.ca
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