Being a leader gives me joy. Hard to believe I have been a “leader” since I was 18 (I am now north of 45, more like 50!) I wasn’t always a good leader – it was a skill I had to keep refining and nurturing and doing and making mistakes and promising myself not to repeat it again. 

Those early days were a little painful. I was mistaken and thought a leader meant being in control. Wrong! While I have forgiven myself for not knowing better, I now see that there was a different approach I could have taken – one where you coach, mentor and encourage, and where you share a future vision, set standards and hold people accountable. I came to that realization through self reflection (which I’ll discuss in a later blog) and finding my “north star”. My mental model that helped me “own” my style of leadership was from a book I had read by Kouzes and Posner, called The Leadership Challenge. 

Bliss Reflection #7

That’s when life changed for me as a leader. If it wasn’t for me making some painful mistakes, I don’t think I would have been motivated to reflect and ask myself if what I had been doing as a leader was working. (That’s always an important question to ask yourself as a leader.) I realized that what I had been doing, was not ”me” or me being authentically myself. So after searching through many many books on leadership, I finally found the one – ”The Leadership Challenge” – that I thought “yah, this is it, this makes complete sense”. The model isn’t complicated, and the book does an excellent job of explaining the model and each of the five elements:

• Create a Shared Vision
• Challenge the Status Quo
• Model the Way
• Enable Others to Act
• Encourage the Heart

Each one resonates for me, and whether I have been in for-profit, non-profit, in health or education, I have found that this model works for me, and works every single time. It works in times of chaos and stress and in times of stability, it works with millennials and mature employees and it works in small and large teams. Having this “north star” has allowed me to ”own” my style and to be consistent in it. It has helped turn my leadership around from being ”controlling” to now building leaders who go on to be great leaders. I’ll feature each of the five elements later in my blogs, but this model has changed the way I lead.Once you practice it everyday, it becomes almost rote -not in a robotic way, but in an “authentic in every moment” way. 

This model has helped me find the joy in leading and leading leaders. Having this model has helped me reflect on what is important to me (and to the team and the organization) and has allowed me to grow and stretch. It has taken a lot of practice and a few more mistakes (even today). But now that I have found my stride and own my style, I find great joy in seeing the impact this type of leadership has on my colleagues, my organization and my customers. What’s your leadership framework? What’s your “north star”?

Bliss Finds and Facts

• If you want to read more about the model that works for me, check out The Leadership Challenge website. What I really like about this leadership model is that they also offer various tools and resources, including self and 360-degree assessments to help you understand what more you can do to be consistent with the model.
• Another thought leader that I have enjoyed reading and following is Simon Sinek and his book ”Start with Why”.